1. Practice empathy – The golden rule states: “don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.” Every person deserves to be treated with respect, honor, and dignity. It is vitally important to treat others as we want others to treat us. I cannot demand what I do not deliver; and if my treatment of others is satirical, rude, disrespectful, and arrogant; from that same seed that I am sowing, that same fruit I will reap.

Who said treat people how you want to be treated?

Christianity – The Sermon on the Mount by Carl Bloch (1877) portrays Jesus teaching during the Sermon on the Mount The “Golden Rule” was proclaimed by Jesus of Nazareth during his Sermon on the Mount and described by him as the second great commandment. The common English phrasing is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

• A similar form of the phrase appeared in a Catholic catechism around 1567 (certainly in the reprint of 1583).
• Various applications of the Golden Rule are stated positively numerous times in the Old Testament : “Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” Or, in Leviticus 19:34: “But treat them just as you treat your own citizens.

Love foreigners as you love yourselves, because you were foreigners one time in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”. The Old Testament Deuterocanonical books of Tobit and Sirach, accepted as part of the Scriptural canon by Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodoxy, and the Non-Chalcedonian Churches, express a negative form of the golden rule: “Do to no one what you yourself dislike.” —  Tobit 4:15 Recognize that your neighbor feels as you do, and keep in mind your own dislikes.

  Sirach 31:15 Two passages in the New Testament quote Jesus of Nazareth espousing the positive form of the Golden rule: Do to others what you want them to do to you. This is the meaning of the law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

A similar passage, a parallel to the Great Commandment, is Luke 10:25. Behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read it?” He answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.” He said to him, “You have answered correctly.

Do this, and you will live.” The passage in the book of Luke then continues with Jesus answering the question, “Who is my neighbor?”, by telling the parable of the Good Samaritan, which John Wesley interprets as meaning that “your neighbor” is anyone in need. Jesus’ teaching goes beyond the negative formulation of not doing what one would not like done to themselves, to the positive formulation of actively doing good to another that, if the situations were reversed, one would desire that the other would do for them.

This formulation, as indicated in the parable of the Good Samaritan, emphasizes the needs for positive action that brings benefit to another, not simply restraining oneself from negative activities that hurt another. In one passage of the New Testament, Paul the Apostle refers to the golden rule, restating Jesus’ second commandment: For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

What does it mean to treat others how you want to be treated?

Summary and conclusions –

The golden rule is a moral principle which denotes that you should treat others the way you want to be treated yourself.For example, the golden rule means that if you want people to treat you with respect, then you should treat them with respect too.The underlying concept behind the golden rule has been formulated by various individuals and groups throughout history, and it’s often seen as one of the key principles which are used to guide how people should behave toward each other.A notable limitation of the golden rule is the fact that others might not want to be treated the same way you want to be treated; this issue can be addressed by refining the golden rule into a variant called the platinum rule, which suggests that we should treat others the way they themself wish to be treated.When implementing the golden rule, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s meant to serve as a general rule of thumb rather than an absolute law, and there are situations where other guiding principles overrule it.

Should I treat others how I want to be treated?

“Treat others as you would like to be treated.” We’ve all heard the phrase. But in our modern workplace, treating others as you would like to be treated isn’t always the best option. It’s time to adopt a “New Golden Rule:” Treat others as they would like to be treated. All it takes to put this new mindset into practice is understanding, curiosity, and compromise.

1. Challenge your assumptions. When you find yourself making assumptions about another person, ask: Where are these beliefs coming from? What information am I missing?
2. Ask questions and listen. The best way to really find out how someone else would like to be treated is to simply ask. Some questions that might be helpful to ask those around you include: How do you prefer to communicate — email or Slack? Is now still a good time for us to connect? In what format do you need the information about this project?
3. Replace ‘or’ with ‘and.’ When our preferences differ from others, it’s essential to look for a solution that works for everyone involved. The more you can accommodate the preferences of the most people involved, the better. So whenever you find yourself in a seemingly ‘or’ situation, take a step back and look for an ‘and.’

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” How often did you hear this phrase while growing up? After stealing another kid’s toy or hurting someone’s feelings, your parents were likely quick to remind you of “The Golden Rule.” For many of us, this was our first introduction to the concept of empathy.

And there’s a good chance you’re still (consciously or unconsciously) using this phrase as a guidepost for how you show up. But in our modern workplace, with all our different preferences, cultural backgrounds, professional disciplines, ages, genders, sexual orientations, etc., treating others as you would like to be treated isn’t always the best option.

Although it can be helpful to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, doing so can actually lead to making assumptions based on your own perspective — not theirs. It’s time to adopt a “New Golden Rule:” Treat others as they would like to be treated. It’s a small change, but one that can make a huge difference.

Should you treat people how they treat you?

Why is it important to treat others how you want to be treated? – Treating others how you want to be treated is an essential aspect of establishing positive relationships with people. It is important to understand why it is important to treat others well in order for us to learn how to interact effectively and make a positive impact on our lives.

The golden rule – treating others as you would like them to treat you – has been around for centuries and remains relevant today. Practicing this simple rule helps us build stronger relationships, create an environment of respect, and foster a sense of understanding between people, When we treat each other with kindness and compassion, we can help each other grow in ways that may not have been possible otherwise.

Furthermore, respecting the rights of others goes beyond just interacting with them; it means understanding their perspectives and helping them achieve their goals without judgment or criticism.

Does the Bible say treat others as you want to be treated?

Matthew 7:12 – Woman’s Day/Getty Images “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” The Good News: This is literally “the golden rule” of the Bible. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In other words, if you want to be treated with kindness, be kind to others.18

Why is Golden Rule important?

Abstract – The Golden Rule guides people to choose for others what they would choose for themselves. The Golden Rule is often described as ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’, or ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'(Baumrin 2004).

The viewpoint held in the Golden Rule is noted in all the major world religions and cultures, suggesting that this may be an important moral truth ( Cunningham 1998 ). The Golden Rule underlies acts of kindness, caring, and altruism that go above and beyond “business as usual” or “usual care” ( Huang, 2005 ).

As such, this heuristic or ‘rule of thumb’ has universal appeal and helps guide our behaviors toward the welfare of others. So why question the Golden Rule? Unless used mindfully, any heuristic can be overly-simplistic and lead to unintended, negative consequences.

A heuristic is a rule of thumb that people use to simplify potentially overwhelming or complex events. These rules of thumb are largely unconscious, and occur irrespective of training and educational level ( Gilovich, Griffin & Kahneman 2002 ). Rules of thumb, such as the Golden Rule, allow a person to reduce a complex situation to something manageable—e.g., ‘when in doubt, do what I would want done’.

Because it is a simplifying tool, however, the Golden Rule may lead to inappropriate actions because important factors may be overlooked. In this article we describe “The Golden Rule” as used by administrators, supervisors, charge nurses, and CNAs in case studies of four nursing homes.

What replaced the golden rule?

Replace the golden rule: Treat others how they want to be treated

By The Editorial Board”So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 (ESV)If that sounds familiar to you, it may be because it’s the biblical pretense to the golden rule.

“Treat others as you want to be treated” is a phrase we see everywhere in American culture — so much so that it is often one of the first things we teach our children when we send them off to school. But what if we told you we think there is a way to improve upon the golden rule? It’s no secret that no two people are the same.

So, why do we assume it is safe to treat others how we want to be treated? Instead, treat others how they want to be treated, also known as the platinum rule. If we treat others according to the platinum rule rather than the golden rule, we can ensure others are being treated the way they prefer to be treated, rather than how we think they prefer to be treated.

Do not assume you know the best way to make someone feel loved and respected. Make an effort to learn how the people in your life want you to treat them, and respect their wishes. You can start simple with asking a loved one what you do now to make them feel loved; then, ask how you can be better.

1. However, as beneficial as the platinum rule can be, it doesn’t come to fruition without doing some work.
2. It takes dedicated time, communication and understanding in order to work.
3. With that in mind, here are some tips on how you can bridge the gap of.
4. Identifying both your love language and the love languages of those you love is key to incorporating the platinum rule.

Taking note of whether someone responds well to things like physical touch and words of affirmation can go a long way in making them feel like they’re being adequately cared for in the ways they prefer to be. Another trait worth taking into account is whether someone considers themselves to be more of an or an,

If someone is introverted, they may want more time to themselves on a daily basis in order to recharge. Everyone has different capacities for social interaction and activities. Maybe if you’re more of an extrovert, you have a higher tolerance for amounts of social activity and don’t want as much time alone.

Knowing these differences and how they apply to your loved ones can be important in understanding how much time they need to spend with or without interactive activities. It doesn’t take a genius to point out that no one who is reading this article is a mind reader.

That brings us to our last tip: Communication is key. You have to have hard conversations with about how you feel. Sometimes these conversations can feel downright confrontational, almost as if you’re telling someone they can’t love you properly. Rather than pointing out the negatives in someone’s actions, you can tell them that you know they love you and that carrying out certain actions are the best way for you to feel how much they love you.

On the other hand, avoid reacting negatively if someone facilitates this kind of conversation with you. Taking offense to someone asking you to show them love in a different way is unproductive. Even if you might be bad at giving compliments or planning outings, if someone asks you to treat them a certain way, make the effort.

Why is it important to treat others?

So what does treating people equally actually mean? – Treating people equally means that you treat everyone the same regardless of their race, sex, social status, disability, religion, or anything else. In a community, if everyone is treated equally then everyone should be able to work together, solve problems, feel safe and cared for.

Treating people equally is also a big part of human rights. So, no matter what someone’s individual circumstance is they should be treated with respect, dignity, and kindness. We are all different, every single one of us, and that is great! However, sometimes people can be harsh, and they may not be nice to someone who is quite different from them.

This could be from as small as ignoring them to violence and discrimination. This would not be considered treating someone equally.

What is the golden rule of empathy?

It is the ability to imaginatively identify with others that makes morality possible. Read about humanist support for the Golden Rule. We have learned how reason can help us to establish what is right and wrong. However, reason alone cannot motivate us morally.

We cannot work towards human wellbeing or support other people to flourish if we are unable to imagine what it might be like to be them, with their needs, passions, and desires. For that we need empathy, Thankfully, this is a capacity that most human beings have. As we have already seen, empathy evolved naturally to support our nature as a social animal.

It can support us when we are reasoning about how we should act. What enables human beings to live well rather than badly is their capacity for imaginative and sympathetic identification with the joys and sufferings of others. Empathy can motivate us to be good to others as we can imagine what it would be like to be in their position and think about how we would wish to be treated.

1. Here, then, lies the origin of The Golden Rule,
2. The Golden Rule can be expressed positively: ‘Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.’ or negatively: ‘Do not treat others in a way you would not like to be treated yourself.’ It promotes kindness and care for the less fortunate, because this is what we would want in their situation.

It discourages lying, bullying, and theft, for example, because no one would wish to suffer these injustices themselves. This rule appears to be almost universal. It has appeared in many different religions and philosophies throughout history and across the world.

‘He should treat all beings as he himself should be treated. The essence of right conduct is not to injure anyone.’ Jainism, from The Suta-Kritanga (about 550 BCE, India) ‘Do not do to others what you would not like for yourself.’ Confucianism, from The Analects of Confucius (about 500 BCE, China) ‘I will act towards others exactly as I would act towards myself.’ Buddhism, from The Siglo-Vada Sutta (about 500 BCE, India) ‘Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you.’ Socrates (fifth century BCE, Greece) ‘This is the sum of duty: Do nothing to others which, if done to you, could cause you pain.’ Hinduism, from The Mahabharata (about 150 BCE, India)

Rather than assume this rule has some divine source, a humanist has good reason to believe that it is almost universal because it evolved naturally from the way our species has lived together in communities. It is a basic principle based on our common humanity, which grew from our need to form social bonds.

Does the golden rule work?

Magazine | Does the Golden Rule Hold Up in Modern Society? https://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/27/magazine/does-the-golden-rule-hold-up-in-modern-society.html The Ethicist The Golden Rule (usually defined as “One should treat others as one would like to be treated”) is attractive to people as a guiding principle for ethical conduct.

• However I feel that in our diverse, modern world, it is less than ideal.
• By assuming other people should be treated the way I want to be treated, it imposes my preferences and values on those around me.
• Wouldn’t a better rule be “One should treat others as they want to be treated”? GARRETT FRY, MONROVIA, CALIF.

You’re not the first person to question the logic of this principle. It’s a reasonable reaction to any axiom that’s supposed to work for all people, in all situations, all the time. The problem, however, has little to do with diversity or modernity; the problem is with the core supposition that any two people (regardless of similarity) will want the same thing.

Your proposed solution seems better on the surface, but it has a different glitch — it hinges on the necessity of knowing (or asking) exactly what someone else desires, which defeats the utility of the concept. The espoused strength of the Golden Rule is that you shouldn’t need to confer with anyone else before you act, because you would be automatically placing yourself in the boots of others.

Image The Golden Rule is imperfect and, at times, too easy of a response, so I almost never directly reference it in this column. Beyond the most fundamental level, I don’t believe people want the same things. But there’s another way to consider the language of this sentiment that makes the Golden Rule self-corrective: The rule states that people should treat others the way they would want to be treated.

• So how do we want to be treated? Well, I certainly want to be treated in a manner that accounts for the possibility that other people can’t predict what I want.
• I want to be treated in a manner that does not assume all people are the same, and I never want anyone else to automatically impose their preferences upon my life (even if they believe their personal preferences are morally sound).

These policies are central to how I want to be treated by others. And if this is the way I wish to be treated, it should be — according to the Golden Rule — how I treat everyone else. I should factor in my inability to read minds. This semantic loophole makes the Golden Rule virtually bulletproof, which is why it’s such a durable platitude.

The downside, of course, is that the application of this loophole totally derails the sentiment’s practicality. It provides a solution only if you can directly ask the other person precisely how they want to be treated — and if that option is available, you don’t really need an overriding axiom to guide your behavior.

This is why the Golden Rule is ultimately like every other maxim: It works flawlessly, until it doesn’t. Then it just becomes a collection of words that sound vaguely profound. HOME INVASION Recently, my home was featured in a full-page advertisement in a national magazine.

• The advertiser is a manufacturer of a building product that we installed in the house, and our house is the only one featured in the ad.
• I did not know that my home would be in the advertisement until my contractor told me to look for it.
• I was not paid any money.
• Should I have been compensated? NAME WITHHELD Absolutely.

Your private residence is being used to promote a product that (I assume) you paid for, based on the assumption that you’ll robotically be flattered to see your house in a magazine. Moreover, you weren’t even asked for permission. That’s insane. The company acted unethically.

Why treat everyone with respect?

Receiving respect from others is important because it helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves. – Being respected by important people in our lives growing up teaches us how to be respectful toward others. Respect means that you accept somebody for who they are, even when they’re different from you or you don’t agree with them.

Do you treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you?

“Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.” – And yeah, I get how frustrating that sounds when you feel like garbage. I get how easy it is to be hard on yourself. Y ou’re not the only one who’s (still) trying to figure themselves out. Trying to feel better, be better, live better, We could ALL use a little more light.

1. It just depends on the day.
2. It’s why I write what I write: To help you treat yourself better.
3. To help you love someone else and through that love, start to love yourself better.
4. To bring you sunlight and fresh air on the days you have none left.
5. You know, for the flowers.
6. For the new better feelings and things you’re trying to grow this month.

this year. Because here’s another 100% truth to keep in mind when you’re being hard on yourself:

Should I give myself a treat?

Unlike a reward, which must be earned or justified, a “treat” is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it, We don’t have to be “good” to get it, we don’t earn it or justify it. “Treats” may sound like a self-indulgent, frivolous strategy, but they’re not.

Because forming good habits can be draining, treats can play an important role. When we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for and contented, which boosts our self-command—and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits. Studies show that people who got a little treat, in the form of receiving a surprise gift or watching a funny video, gained in self-control.

It’s a Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish. By contrast, when we don’t get any treats, we feel depleted, resentful and angry and justified in self-indulgence. We start to crave comfort—and we’ll grab that comfort wherever we can, even if it means breaking good habits.

To strengthen my good habits, I decided to create a menu of healthy treats—but that can be more challenging than it sounds. So many popular treats come at a cost: the museum visit requires a long trip across town, the new shoes are expensive, the martini tonight will make the morning tougher. My favorite treat is reading, and reading requires time and concentration, which aren’t always easy to muster.

A reader of my blog noted, “I love to play the piano, but it takes focus, and some days I’ve already spent out my focus quota.” I began by collecting examples of other people’s inventive treats: browsing through art books, cookbooks and travel guides; taking photographs on a walk; napping; having a session of “fur therapy” (petting a dog or cat); wandering through a camping store; looking at family photo albums; keeping art postcards in the car visor for a quick diversion in stalled traffic; going to comedy clubs; going to baseball games; listening to podcasts; coloring in coloring books; visiting amusement parks; learning new magic tricks.

It’s important to have some treat options that aren’t very demanding. A friend told me, “Every day after I get my kids off to school, I go back to bed for 20 minutes. I may go to sleep, or just lie there. I’m still at work by 9:00 a.m., and that little indulgence makes me so happy.” A friend living in London told me his treat: “My calendar is packed, but twice a day, for 15 minutes, I sit and drink an espresso and read the International Herald Tribune,

I don’t check email, I don’t do work. I don’t want any additional breaks, but I’m furious if I don’t get those two in.” Another friend said, “I wonder if there’s something a person could do with this sexually. Depending on their situation,” he laughed.

1. I don’t even want to say out loud what I’m thinking.” “No, don’t spell it out!” I protested.
2. But it’s true that treats that come through the body seem to have special powers.” Sometimes treats might not look like treats.
3. Writer Jan Struther observed, “Constructive destruction is one of the most delightful employments in the world.” I find that true, and tasks like shredding mail, emptying out files or even peeling hard-boiled eggs can feel like a treat.

Funnily enough, clearing clutter is also a treat for me, when I’m in a certain mood. On my blog, people wrote about their own untreatlike treats: ironing, writing code, doing Latin translation. As a treat for herself, for her birthday, one of Jamie’s colleagues walked to work—six miles.

1. Did she do it to prove to herself she could do it?” I asked.
2. Or as a treat?” “Oh, she wanted to do it,” Jamie assured me.
3. For fun.” Although I love hearing what other people consider treats, I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.” Just because an activity is a treat for someone else doesn’t mean it’s a treat for me —and vice versa.

A friend said, “I love CrossFit, that’s a treat for me.” Maybe I could reframe my yoga class, or exercise generally, as my “treat,” I thought. Then I realized—nope. I do enjoy it, in a way, but it’s not a treat. A friend told me that her favorite treat was to shop for gifts—a task that for me is arduous.

I wish my bank of fun included activities like sketching, playing tennis, cooking, doing puzzles or playing a musical instrument, but they’re not treats for me. I made a list of my own treats. One of my favorites is a visit to the library. I love keeping a log of books I want to read, looking up the call numbers and wandering through the stacks to pick them out.

Returning library books is an odd little treat, too (perhaps that’s my Finisher nature). I love copying out my favorite passages from books and adding them to my various collections of quotations. I view sleep as a big treat, which is why I don’t resent the idea of going to bed earlier, the way some people do.

1. For me, it feels like a luxurious indulgence.
2. Beautiful smells are also a reliable treat for me and can be enjoyed in an instant, with no cost, no effort and no planning.
3. In a flash, I get pleasure from the fresh smell of a grapefruit, or the comforting fragrance of clean towels or the promising smell of a hardware store.

I remind myself to notice such treats, to register the fact that I’m experiencing a scent that I love. After all, we make something a treat by calling it a “treat.” It’s all too easy to overlook how much we enjoy something. When we notice our pleasure, and relish it, the experience becomes much more of a treat.

1. Even something as humble as herbal tea or a box of freshly sharpened pencils can qualify as a treat.
2. Look,” I tell myself as I light a scented candle, “I’m giving myself a treat.” Sometimes we can even reframe a challenging habit as a treat, which makes it much easier to keep.
3. A reader observed, “When I thought of exercise as something I ‘should’ do, it was hard to get into a routine.

Eventually, I decided to count my daily walk or cross-country ski as a treat—my time for myself in a day otherwise filled with responsibilities. Somehow, that made it much easier to make it a priority.” The treats of childhood retain a special power. As a child, I was rarely allowed to drink soda or to buy a book instead of checking it out from the library.

What do I do now, with abandon? Drink diet soda and buy books (the book-buying treat is wholly separate from the library-visiting treat). So, perhaps we parents need to think hard about what we identify as treats for our children. A friend thought she should renounce her treat. “I really love coffee, but I know I should stop drinking it,” she told me.

“Why?” I pressed. “Does it keep you up at night? Does it make your stomach hurt?” “No, it doesn’t affect me.” I couldn’t resist launching into a defense of coffee. “You need some treats, and as treats go, coffee is great. Even if you buy very expensive coffee, it’s not that expensive, in absolute terms.

It boosts your energy and focus. If you don’t add anything crazy, it doesn’t have any sugar, carbs, fat or calories, but it does have antioxidants, vitamins, minerals and even fiber, weird as that sounds. Caffeine is fine if you’re drinking it in the human range. Plus, there’s a pleasant ritual connected with it—you can go out for coffee with a friend.” “But I drink so much.

I should at least cut back.” “But why ?” I pressed. “Enjoy it! Samuel Johnson said, ‘All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.’ A habit isn’t bad unless it causes some kind of problem.” I don’t think I convinced her. Not everyone is attracted by the idea of having each day ordered, but I love the monkish horarium, or “table of hours,” the highly specific routine that runs on an annual cycle, with variations for the days of the week and the seasons.

Every part of the day has its own character and purpose, with time set aside for prayer, manual work, rest, eating, sleeping. Few decisions, no hurry, time for everything. I am particularly intrigued by the hours that monks set aside for lectio divina, or spiritual reading. This is another kind of treat.

To be happy, even we nonmonks need to make time for transcendent matters—such as beauty, creativity, service, faith—but too often these get pushed aside for more urgent demands, and life begins to feel empty and purposeless. Scheduling lectio divina is a way to make sure that the spiritual gets attention—whether a person decides to read holy books and attend religious services, as a monk would do, or adapts this habit to make regular time to leaf through art books, read biographies of great figures, spend time in nature, go to concerts, volunteer or meditate.

• For some people, politics is a spiritual concern, tied to transcendent values, such as justice, opportunity and freedom.
• And from what I’ve observed, sports seems to have a spiritual value for some people—with its aspects of devotion, loyalty, hope and perseverance.
• Once we’ve truly adopted a habit, it comes easily, without decision-making.

But until that point—and even established habits, alas, can never be completely taken for granted—giving ourselves a little boost with treats helps us maintain our self-command. Goethe pointed out, “Whatever liberates our spirit without giving us mastery over ourselves is destructive.” And whatever liberates our spirit while giving us mastery over ourselves is constructive. The excerpt was reprinted from Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives Copyright © 2015 by Gretchen Rubin. Published by permission of Crown Publishers, an imprint of Penguin Random House.

Do to others what you want them to do to you?

‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ is a biblical concept spoken by Jesus in Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12 ; it is commonly referred to as the ‘Golden Rule.’ ‘So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets’ (Matthew 7:12).

How did Jesus treat people?

Be Kind, Compassionate, and Forgiving – Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) This verse is a wonderful reminder that we are to treat others the same way that Jesus treats us.

What does the Bible say about treating others who hurt you?

When People Hurt You How to Respond When People Hurt You What comes to your mind in response to the questions, “Who has hurt you? Who has offended you? Who has lied about you? Who has betrayed you?” How quickly can you make a short list of people who have caused you pain? And who were these people who hurt you? Family members? Your wife? Your husband? One of your parents? Your children? Or was it a person at work? Or a friend from church- perhaps better labeled “a former friend.” How many friendships have been shattered because their cruel words or actions left you feeling betrayed? Hollywood makes blockbuster movies with a simple story line-the hero of the movie is hurt or a victim of injustice, and throughout the movie seeks to recover what is rightfully his or hers.

And when they finally get to the end, we cheer the hero’s revenge, “All right, go for it, that evil person deserves it!” But how does God want us to respond to people who hurt us? Whether that person is a family member or an enemy, how should we react? The Bible speaks quite plainly to the issue of revenge: “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 NIV) Just in case there is any confusion-God does not need you to tell Him when or how to get revenge.

So how does God want me to respond to those who hurt me? Luke 6:27-3 6 speaks to this issue with great detail. In some areas of the Christian life we struggle to find out how God wants us to respond. That is not the case here. God’s instructions are detailed.

Love Your Enemies How Can I Love My Enemies? Do Good to Those Who Hate You Bless Those Who Curse You Pray for Those Who Mistreat You Joseph-A Lifetime of Hurtful Things Done by Those Around Him

So who are your enemies? We look at other parts of the world where war is raging, and we see this on TV-the Arabs and Jews in a cycle of violence, hatred, and death. But who fits the label of “enemy” in your life? Many of those who come to Teen Challenge for help are from a background of violence and anger.

A huge percentage of them have been deeply damaged as children. Juan’s mother gave him away to an uncle because she didn’t want him. The uncle raised Juan, but cruelly abused him. Eventually Juan ended up in a series of foster homes and jail before coming to Teen Challenge. So who were the enemies in Juan’s life? Rita came into a home with a mom who didn’t want her.

She too was given away and ended up in foster homes. One foster mother would discipline her by putting a plastic bag over her head and hold it tight until Rita passed out. Sexual abuse was also part of her childhood experiences. So how long is Rita’s list of enemies? For many of us the definition of an enemy is “a former friend.” You were in a relationship with someone that should have been a positive friendship-but they betrayed you.

• And Jesus says, here is how I want you to respond to that enemy today-love them! “This does not make sense!” you say.
• Why should I love them? Look at all the damage this person caused in my life, and now you just want me to love that person? If this enemy has come to beg for my forgiveness-if they have really changed-I still find it hard to forgive and love them.

But what about the enemy who has not changed-they are still the same evil person that hurt me so deeply. Or maybe your “enemy” is a Christian, perhaps even a pastor, or some other church leader who hurt you. “Why should I love this hypocrite? They should know better-they are a leader.

• They should have been showing me love- instead they betrayed me!” In response to all your “whys” Jesus simply says, “Love your enemies.” But how? How does Jesus want me to show love to my enemies? I simply do not have any love in my heart for that person.
• Are you saying that I should have “warm fuzzy feelings” in my heart for this person? God knows our weaknesses, and He has promised to provide the power we need when we do not have the strength to do what He asks us to do.

So the good news is that if you don’t know how to love this enemy, God will help you. The promise of 2 Timothy 1:7 offers great hope to you: “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (NIV) God will give you the power to love your enemies the way He wants you to love them.

The best place to start is the list of love characteristics given in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Over 15 different expressions of love are listed here, and not one of them talks about romantic warm feelings for the other person. The first love trait relates well to enemies-“love is patient.” How can I express patience in relating to this enemy? Let’s look at it from the other end-when you show patience toward this person, you are expressing God’s love.

So does this mean I let this person keep on abusing me-and I respond by showing patience as they abuse me? Not at all! As much as it is in our power, we need to put in place boundaries that keep us safe from the damage our enemies try to bring into our lives.

1. We need to seek help from others who can assist in providing this safety.
2. The wife who is being beaten by her husband should call the police.
3. To simply stay in that place of abuse, and say, “I’m just being patient, doing what God says,” this is not God’s way to express love to that abuser.
4. Patience can be expressed toward our enemies by what we think and what we say.

It is “normal” and easy to lash out with our words, or at least in our thoughts, toward the one who has hurt us. Love can be shown by not going down the path of revenge-even in our thoughts. The second expression of love in 1 Corinthians 13 states, “love is kind.” Perhaps the most important prayer you need to say is, “God, how do You want me to show kindness to this person? God give me the power to show kindness to this person, because in my own heart, I simply do not have the desire or the power to do this.” Look in the life of Jesus at how He showed kindness to those who mistreated Him.

The list in 1 Corinthians 13 goes on, each trait very specific and practical in providing appropriate expressions of love toward our enemies. And there are many other scriptures that speak to love. But with all this scripture, you may still be saying, “I just do not want to love this person. They had no right doing what they did to me.” You cannot change your enemy-but you can change your response to this person.

That is what God is concerned about for you- what is your response? God will give you the power to change if you are willing to change. This second response from Luke 6:27 calls us to action-to “do good to those who hate you.” This response cannot be fulfilled with kind thoughts alone-action is required.

God created us to do good works. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10 NIV) What an incredible promise for us to stand on! We were created for a purpose-our life has a mission-a mission planned by God Himself! Our whole reason for being on earth is to do the good works that God Himself prepared in advance for us to do! Luke 6:27 makes it quite clear that the good works He has planned for us are not to be restricted to those who love us and do good things to us.

God has a bigger plan. Not only does God want us to do good works, He also equips us for these works. “May the God of peace, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever.

Amen.” (Hebrews 13:20-2 1 NIV) “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” (2 Peter 1:3- 4 NIV) So how do I know what are the good works that God wants me to do for the one who hates me? We need God’s help in making that decision.

Don Swartzlander, the director of Teen Challenge in Buffalo, NY, recently told me of an experience with a lady who hated their ministry. She was a well-known “advocate” for anyone who had a complaint in their city. She had been protesting Teen Challenge’s move to a new location where they could expand their ministry.

One day Don was at a community meeting, and saw this lady come limping into the meeting. “God spoke to my heart and told me to pray for her,” stated Don. “So I bowed my head and breathed a prayer to God for her. Instantly in my heart God responded-‘No, you go pray for her!’ “So at the end of the meeting I went up to where she was seated and asked if I could pray for her.

She was willing, so I placed my hand on her shoulder and prayed a very simple prayer for her.” A few weeks later Don saw this same woman at another community meeting. “When she entered the room, she loudly called out-‘I love you!’ ” Don stated, “I was not paying much attention to her, since she was always talking loud.

But she repeated this, and came right up to me, threw her arms around me and gave me a great big grandma hug!” “God had touched her-not only had she experienced God’s healing physically, but God had touched her heart,” shared Don. “From that day on she was a friend and advocate for Teen Challenge in any issue that related to our ministry.” When God calls us to do good to those who hate us, it rarely seems logical.

But God has a plan bigger than we can see. I cannot guarantee that your act of doing good will bring results as quickly as Don experienced. God wants us to do good works whether or not the other person changes. Your job is not to change your enemy. Your job is to follow Jesus, and do what He directs you to do.

Jesus made the point that even when we give a cup of cold water to someone in need, God sees this and will reward us. (Matthew 10:42) Jesus also illustrated clearly that whatever we do to others, we are really doing it to God. (Matthew 25:31-46) So however we treat our enemies is really how we are treating God.

If you don’t know what to do for that person, then pray, “God I am willing to do whatever you want me to do to express kindness to this person.” The third response God calls us to do toward those who have hurt us is “bless those who curse you.” (Luke 6:28) Why should I bless someone who is cursing me? Human logic says the opposite.

• How do people curse you? Let’s broaden the definition beyond those who swear at you.
• When others show you disrespect-that qualifies as “cursing you.” Let’s also include when they say hateful things, or lie about you, or do hurtful things toward you, or betray you.
• God says bless them-not after they have repented, but bless them even if they continue with that hurtful behavior.

Why would God want you to bless someone who is treating you so badly? Blessing others is a powerful protection to keep you from becoming bitter, hateful, and bent on revenge. The normal response to someone who curses you is to curse them back. When we do that we fall into the same sinful gutter the other person is already in.

1. We stoop to their level.
2. God has a better plan for you- He has created you to do good works-not to curse others.
3. Your actions need to be determined-not by the response of the other person-but in focused obedience on what God wants you to do.
4. When you bless those who curse you, you show you are not a slave to that other person’s behavior.

God gave a powerful promise to Abraham in the Old Testament. “I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.” (Genesis 12:3 NIV) God says, I will stand back and watch how other people treat you-and their response will determine My response.

• God says my way of treating people determines how He will treat me.
• When you bring this powerful truth into the picture, it begins to make more sense why you should bless those who curse you.
• When you bless others you bring God’s blessing on your life! And God’s blessing is far more important than the curses from other people.

So the greatest benefit from following God’s instructions to bless those who curse you-the greatest benefit comes to you. God will bless you. The one who is cursing you may continue to treat you badly. But God has a better plan for you! So how do you bless someone who is cursing you? Instead of planning revenge, offer a simple prayer, “God, please bless this person.” Every time this person comes to your mind, use those thoughts to trigger this simple prayer.

• You may find yourself praying this prayer a hundred times a day-keep doing it! What does this prayer accomplish? First it frees you from thinking curses back on this person.
• It also fits closely with God’s view of forgiveness-you release to God the full responsibility to punish their sin.
• This prayer of blessing enables you to be at peace in your heart even though the relationship may not have changed.

Blessing those who curse you also speaks to how you talk about this person who has cursed you. Instead of speaking to others about the hurt and how wrong the other person is, you can choose to only speak in a positive way about that person. Do not repeat the curses of this person so the whole world can know how wrong they are; instead choose to speak kind words.

1. If you can’t say anything else, tell others you are praying that God will bless this person who has hurt you.
2. God’s fourth assignment for you is to “pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:28) Many times we are not in a position to force the other person to stop their hurtful behavior.
3. Rarely do we have the power to change them, but we do have the power to change our response to this person.

God simply says, pray for them. So what should I pray about? Pray that God will help you to love this person. Pray that God will help you to see what are the good things God wants you to do for this person. Pray that God will bless this person. What do these prayers do? They focus your attention on God.

Instead of being consumed with the hurt, you focus on God the one who can heal the hurt, and give you the power to respond in a radically new way. I remember seeing a young child run to his mother with a sad face, and as soon as he was in the arms of his mother he burst out crying, and eventually told her why he was so sad.

How to Stop Being a Slave to the Opinions of Other People

I remember being so amused by this child because he had waited until he got to his mother before he started crying. But what a beautiful picture of how God wants us to respond! Instead of sitting down in the midst of the one who has hurt us, and crying to ourselves about the hurt, we need to keep our mouth shut, and run to Jesus, and pour out our heart to Him.

• Ing David demonstrates this many times in the Psalms he wrote, speaking of the betrayal by friends and enemies- calling on God to punish them.
• What is interesting to note is that David did not cry out to his generals to go kill those who were treating him this way.
• When David was fleeing for his life because his son Absalom was leading a rebellion, a man named Shimei came out and cursed David and threw stones at him.

When one of David’s generals asked permission to take off his head, David responded-leave Shimei alone, perhaps God has told him to curse me. (See 2 Samuel 16:5-14.) What an incredible response in such a difficult time! David protects himself from sinning by trusting God, and assuming that God’s plan is beyond his own understanding.

How can we pray for those who mistreat us? King David’s response gives a powerful example. God may want to use the hurtful behavior of others to help you grow. The example of Christ sends the same message. Those who crucified Jesus did it with the intention of getting rid of Him. But God used their evil actions as His path to provide for the salvation of the whole world.

When people say and do hurtful things, God has a plan for our response. These four steps in Luke 6:27-28 are only the beginning of what God says in the Bible, but they will provide most of us with a fulltime challenge of putting them into practice. These four responses God calls us to use do not in any way send the message that God endorses the hurtful things others do to you.

God sends the message to you that He has a plan for your response, and His plan will take you beyond the hurt to a place of healing and growth. Then, just like Joseph you will be able to look back on that hurtful experience and say, “You intended to harm me, but God used it for good to accomplish His plan in my life.” Joseph was cruelly sold by his brothers into slavery, as a way to make money off him rather than just killing him.

As a young man in Egypt, he had plenty of reasons to harbor anger toward his brothers for their evil actions. But it’s clear that Joseph put his trust in God, and chose to have a positive attitude toward his circumstances. Soon he was the leader in Potiphar’s house.

Then betrayal came crashing on him again, when Potiphar’s wife falsely accused him of raping her. This time he ends up in prison-probably spending many of the best years of his young adult life behind bars. Even in prison Joseph continues to put God first in his life, and God blesses him. Joseph had no way of knowing what the future held for him.

Yet he harbors no bitterness toward Potiphar. Finally God opens the prison doors and in one day Joseph goes from prisoner to leader of Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. God uses him to prepare the nation for the coming famine. When the famine finally affects Joseph’s brothers and father, they come to Egypt looking for food.

Joseph could have planned revenge and killed his brothers, but instead he loves them, and brings them all to Egypt to live with his blessing. When his father dies many years later, the brothers come pleading for mercy because of their past actions. Joseph still responds with love and forgiveness, showing in his answer how he sees this past painful experience: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20 NIV) Copyright © 2003, 2006 By David Batty.

Used by permission. To help individuals, families and communities dealing with life-challenging life-controlling problems find wholeness in Christ.

It is impractical to think the ministerial staff alone can deal with the hurts and staggering needs that most congregations face. In truth, this work should be the responsibility of the entire local body of Christ. The basic group in Living Free’s system of small groups is the Insight Group. The Insight Group is a meaningful nine-week experience to help your entire church family and community.

Living Free is so incredible, as it opens each participant’s eyes to the practical application of the Scripture. I can honestly say this is a ministry that raises a standard of truth and transparency. Sometimes I am simply blown away by what God is doing through Living Free.

1. I eat, drink and sleep Living Free.
2. Why? Because it works.” I’m currently going to your Living Free class and it has helped me a lot with the daily struggles that life has thrown my way and I just wanted to say thanks for everything that you all do for people in tough situations like me.
3. You all have helped open my eyes and my heart and helped me realize I don’t want to live the way I was living anymore.” Daily devotions emailed weekdays.

These short devotions address common life struggles that may be affecting you or someone you care about. We invite you to use them in your personal quiet times and also to share them with friends, Sunday school classes, Bible study groups, or wherever you feel the message will minister.

Have you ever played hide and seek with a toddler? You close your eyes and start counting. One, two, three, four. You reach ten, open your eyes and say “Ready or not, here I come!” You take a quick look around and notice that half of your hide-and-seek partner is sticking out from behind their chosen hiding spot. Even if they weren’t so clearly visible, they probably started giggling the moment you stopped counting, so finding them would not have been much of a challenge either way. Still, you play along, rummaging around the room in all the wrong places, wondering loudly where they could possibly be, until you either “find” them, or they burst out laughing and just tell you where they are. Better Together I have heard many people say something along these lines: “I love Jesus, but I don’t love the Church,” or, “You don’t have to go to church to be a Christian.” Typically the people saying things like this have had an experience with Christians that has put a bad taste in their mouth. Unfortunately, that kind of experience is not all that uncommon. After all, we are all sinful, fallen people in need of grace. Helping By Not Helping Recently, a lady named Tracy approached me and said, “Thank you for your help.” I said, “You’re welcome; what did I do?” She said, “I attended one of your workshops a few years ago. You all empowered me to help my brother by no longer helping him.” I was a little confused at first until she shared her story.

PO Box 22127 Chattanooga, TN 37422 USA and stay up to date on what’s happening. : When People Hurt You

What does the Bible say about being too nice?

A Better Word and a Better Way – Even when the Bible talks about our attitude, it tells us the fruit of the Spirit in our lives isn’t niceness, but kindness, Kindness is an attribute of God. He’s compassionate, faithful, and just. In the New Testament, we find kindness describing one that’s gentle, upright, gracious, and generous. Ephesians tells us that we show kindness by the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through our lives.

We extend kindness by the grace and mercy of God. The Scriptures implore us to be kind to each other. But kindness isn’t weakness or niceness. Kindness is the compassion of God on display through the working of the Spirit in our lives. It takes a working of the Spirit in our lives to show kindness! Contrast that idea with niceness which seeks to please people more than God and models worldly weakness instead of godly strength.

In the pursuit of being nice, we often say yes when we should say no. Instead of confronting in love, we take on the burdens of others’ mistakes as if they were our own. I can identify with the idea of being overly nice. You never want to be the person to rock the boat or hurt someone’s feelings.

Who said you teach people how do you treat you?

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. -Tony Gaskins | Quotes, Inspirational quotes, Words Photo by on · You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. -Tony Gaskins : You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.